We don't live here anymore

This is probably a little late in coming, but Ask Me Later really doesn't exist anymore.

If you're looking for Casper, you can find him here.

And if you're looking for Cantankerous, just send her an e-mail and I'm sure she'll do whatever it takes to facilitate your stalking her.

Simply No Words

There are times where no amount of words can convey the appropriate feeling.

Rest in peace, Tom.

How to Destroy Society

More Basic Instructions . . .

Basic Instructions

Get more Basic Instructions at www.basicinstructions.net.

Burning Freezing Question of the Day

I really don't feel like going through all the trouble of setting up a real poll, and I truly appreciate the more subjective feedback comments offer, so I'm just going to ask our dear four or five readers to answer this question in the comments section:

Given today's weather, an ice storm warning from the National Weather Service, countless school closings and the WHITE DEATH now descending on SE Wisconsin, what do you think the appropriate response from are businesses should be? Should they send their employees home before it gets too bad? What is too bad? Should they pretend nothing is happening and hope for the best? Is the weather really all that bad? Should an employer err on the side of caution?

You tell me!

Culinary Etiquette

After discovering a particularly long, grayish-blonde hair in your food and notifying your server of this, what do you believe the appropriate reponse of the server/restaurant should be?

More Lunch Fun

Today my office cafeteria offered up a beef and bean burrito with a side of corn and red beans and rice. The burrito is deep-fried, which I believe technically qualifies it as a chimichanga and not a burrito. I've also never thought of red beans and rice as a side for Mexican food, but what do I know, other than the fact that you'll all be happy to know that I won't be reporting on this meal's inevitable outcome.

All together now, "Thanks for sharing, Dave!"

Forest for the Trees

If George W. Bush is capable of single-handedly destroying the United States, why is it so hard to conceive that scores of Muslim terrorists aren't destroying the religion of peace?

Why Hillary Won't Win

Put it in context here

Troubles

I picked up the breaded shrimp with a side of fries special for lunch from the restaurant in my building today. Such a meal requires that I have both ketchup and cocktail sauce as my condiments. I keep finding myself dipping shrimp in the ketchup and fries in the cocktail sauce.

I tried eating the shrimp with my left hand and the fries with my right hand to keep things straight, but that just got confusing. Besides, I need my right hand free to high five all the people who come by my desk to tell me how awesome I am. But if they ever find out I'm having this condiment dilemma, my reputation will go down the drain.

A picture of the conundrum below...

For our friends in Sudan...

If I do it enough, I figure I'm bound to offend someone.

This is not the message you're looking for

Man, I just can't get enough of this!

Why can't everyone just get along...

...while pounding the hell out of one another on the gridiron?

If you squint, you can just barely see it spelling out that magical word. Kinda the same way when you squint at my house, it looks like a gigantic mansion and not just a refrigerator box behind the CVS.

Overblown Offense

Nick has said* what I'm sure a lot of people have been thinking. Personally, I've found that a lot of people tend to blow things way out of proportion when it comes to something as innocuous as a silly little bumpersticker. In fact, just after creating this one...

..the complaints really started rolling in:

• The puppies are black and white. Why are no other races represented?
• Isn't it unsafe to leave a toddler so near two dogs?
• The baby is caucasian. Shouldn't we be kind to babies of all races?
• The lettering is in blue. Should we assume female babies/puppies are excluded from acts of kindness?
• Not in Spanish.
• Use of the Latin alphabet is offensive to those whose languages use the Cyrillic, Greek, Arab, etc. alphabets.
• Too Aryan
• Some people are allergic to dogs.
• Image of baby offends childless couples.
• Is documentation available to assure that the puppies were not bred at a puppy mill?
• What about kittens?
• Was basket made in a free-trade nation?
• Not enough cowbell

*Sorry...blogger won't let me link. I'm referring to what Nick said in this post (http://www.nickschweitzer.net/2007/11/26/CoexistWithThis.aspx) in which he observes "...to be honest, that "controversy" was blown out of proportion by everybody, and has become a parody of itself."

From the Sidelines

Browsing through the Cheddarshpere as of late, I'm sure seeing a lot of the following:

So-and-so said this!
Oh yeah? Well he said this once!
But he said that after she said this!
That's not as bad as when they did that after he went there!
I didn't say that! But if I did, it isn't like I said what he
said!
You're an idiot!
He's a jackass!
She's stupid!

Seriously...I think I've seen more constructive debate on an elementary school playground. Frankly, I'm not missing blogging at all.

If you were ever curious...

This post may fall on deaf ears, since posting around here has been pretty much non-existent for the last several months and we've most likely lost every reader we ever had.




But, for the curious among you, I'd just like to point out that one of the reasons posting has been so light is about to come to fruition tomorrow.

That's right! Saturday is Cantankerous's big day! She and her man are finally tying the knot, and we here at Ask Me Later truly wish them the best!

(Please note...that is not a picture of the lovely couple...I just couldn't resist!)

Kane Watch: Redefining Slavery

What's truly amazing is that almost a quarter of all workers in America get
no paid vacation at all, according to the Center for Economic and Policy
Research. Didn't they use to call that slavery?

Tongue in cheek? Or truly delusional?

Is this the end?

Well, is it?

Your comments are appreciated.

So long, Tookie

Several years ago a friend brought over a parrot that was no longer wanted by its owner.

Over the next several days, my roommate at the time and I tried to come up with a name for this bird.

One night, my roommate, an Israeli, kept talking to the bird and saying, "Tookie! Tookie! Tookie!"

When I asked him what he was saying, he told me that 'tookie' was Hebrew for 'parrot."

So, basically, he was sitting on the couch saying "Parrot! Parrot! Parrot!"

And so we named Tookie.

Tookie passed away a couple of months ago. Had I not 'retired' from blogging, I may have written my post in honor of him then.

But I didn't.

So I'm doing it now.

So long, Tookie. I'll miss you sleeping on my chest and leading every other animal around the house, demonstrating just which one of you was the smartest one under the roof.

Keep one leg up, and your head tucked under your wing.

Harry Potter

Saw it last night. Loved it. My overall review: it's a much slower paced film than the others and if you haven't read the books, you might find it a bit boring.

For those of us who have read the books, and can view this movie as a piece of a larger whole, you'll appreciate the character development, but mostly you'll like the wizards fight at the end. I've been waiting a few years to see that. It was pretty good.

Luna Lovegood is a scene stealer, and that was a pleasant surprise.

All in all, I liked it. My brother, who doesn't read the books had this to say: I kept waiting for Voldemort to say, "Luke, I am your father." That is, he'll take Star Wars over Harry Potter any day.

Kane Watch: Cluck, Cluck

Looks like Gene got slapped for his little stunt with the fake interview. Only Gene could get away with a wrist slap for this kind of thing. I wonder how the victim felt upon reading the interview, only to find out later that the whole thing was a sick joke.

Wonder if Kane had to explain to the editor what he meant by, "Not everyone is as clueless as Charlie Sykes who made a fuss about the group interview being fake." After all, the editor ran a letter referencing the column as legit.

Oops. Nothing quite like calling your own boss clueless.

Anyway, here's the apology. This time it's in his column, not hidden away in the blog.

The Few Who Ruin It for Everybody: Lots of readers thought last Sunday's column was a powerful statement on the troubles with disruptive young black people in Milwaukee. But some were confused about whether the column was written from an actual interview with a group of specific young people who talked about their viewpoints.

It wasn't.

The column - you can read it at www.jsonline.com/links - was my attempt to address the issue of young blacks who find creative ways to spoil positive events in the black community, such as the beating of an innocent motorist at Juneteenth Day. Although based on my experiences talking with young people about violence in the city, the dialogue was never meant to be taken literally as an actual interview.

I was surprised that some readers misinterpreted my writing device, which was admittedly more literary than journalistic. I apologize for any confusion.

Oh, c'mon now...

When you go to the grocery store, there's a reason apples are in one place and oranges are in another.

It's the same reason we place obvious social misfits, such as the family in Oshkosh that seems to have problems with with the Country USA festival* in a different category than dozens, if not hundreds, of random festival attendees who seem to feel the best way to cap off a block party is by random street rioting.

But so far as Eugene Kane is concerned, as well as Mike Plaisted (who I personally think gave up his right to meaningful discourse the day he made "wing-nut" an oft-used term in the points he attempts to make), comparing the annual shenanigans performed by a sub-set of party-goers to one crazed family of five is somehow apt.

Um...no.

They claim the lack of response regarding the 74-year-old's knuckle headed antics by the conservative, white, right-leaning, hood-wearing, Sykes-following masses is telling.

Um...no.

They're different. And if they can't, or are unwilling, to tell the difference, then so be it. But, quite frankly, if they're so lacking in the ability to tell the difference between the two incidents, it's no problem but their own.

I'm sick and tired of the comparisons and analogies columnists, bloggers and commenters alike try to make in defense of their positions. Most recently I watched as an Ask Me Later reader attempted to compare the plight of an illegal immigrant, someone who voluntarily snuck into this country, to that of Rosa Parks, who was obviously a legal citizen denied the rights granted to her by the Constitution. Challenged with this, the reader spun further into obscurity by comparing the illegal immigrant to a slave who attempted to escape from his master pre-bellum. Nevermind that the slave was dragged to this nation in shackles for a life of forced-servitude, for some reason the reader believed comparing the him or her to a Mexican citizen who willingly entered this nation, broke its immigration laws and brazenly volunteered his illegal status to a federal agent was somehow appropriate.

They aren't the same.

Folks, there's a sale on apples.

There's a coupon for oranges in the Sunday paper.

One special cannot be applied to the other.

____________________________________________
*As an aside, I joked to a country music fan friend of mine that this seems exactly like the type of family who would enjoy a country music festival

A Few Questions for Kane

So, this is what "knuckleheads" do to other people?


On Wednesday, Gene's position on the Juneteenth Day riot was that a few "knuckleheads" and "bad apples" spoiled the fun, and that mostly white people who never go to the festival over reacted about the level of danger present there.

Sounds like Gene got an interview with some of these "knuckleheads" and it appears to have left him speechless.

Q. What is it going to take to reach out to you guys in order to be hopeful about the future?

A. "Why do you want to reach us? Like you said, we're the dropouts, the ones without good parents, the ones who don't really think much about the future beyond the next day. Plus, we can get all the guns we want. What good do you think reaching out to us is going to do?"

Q. So, it's hopeless?

A. "Not as long as we're the few. When we become the many, that's when you will really have problems."

Wow, huh? Gene fails to comment on this interview. My question for Gene: Still think these guys are knuckleheads?

Sounds to me like they've got it all figured out. They have no pride, no education and basically no care for anything in the world. They live in a city that enables their lack of education, the lawlessness, the crime, the teenage pregnancy and the joblessness. What makes these kids knuckleheads?

Why get smart and work for a living when the city can foot the bill and you can rule your little corner of the universe like a king?

Sounds like these guys aren't such knuckleheads at all.

I think Gene is the knucklehead for ever defending these lazy, violent thugs and for ever calling them less than what they really are: criminals.

And if we're supposed to feel badly for them because, as Gene writes, "Usually, they are high-school dropouts with a background in the criminal justice system as juvenile or adult offenders. Many have anger management problems along with a drastic lack of self-esteem that makes them prone to be followers as opposed to leaders." well I just won't. It's because of people like Gene who write about h0w we should feel sorry for these thugs, and how we should understand how tough they have it and the lawmakers who agree that we are in the situation we are in.

The soft bigotry of low expectations has really played the inner city residents right into a corner. And they only way out is to stop making excuses for what they are or are not capable of. And that just might have to start with Eugene Kane.

But don't take it from me, take it from the kid he interviewed: "Jobs? Seriously, why would you think folks like us want jobs? Like you said, we're high school dropouts, drug addicts, gangsters. We're the troublemakers. We aren't really looking for any jobs."

Why James T. Harris is a True Leader

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm one of James T. Harris' biggest fans. And, I'm probably a little biased. I guess that's why I never miss an opportunity to point out the things that justify why I have so much faith in this guy.

James most recent post, in my opinion, exemplifies the kind attitude and resolve that is going to effect true change in the inner city. He writes:

I guess I could move, but if I did I would constantly be thinking of the friends I left behind. Most don’t understand what it means to truly be part of a community.

Am I my neighbors' keeper? Yes. What is my responsibility when it comes to lawlessness in the land? This is what I’m struggling with.

God bless the police, but there is only so much they can do.

No. It is time for the men of the nation’s neighborhoods to man up. It’s time to take a page from the heroes of United Flight 93. We need to pray, organize, pray, and then confront the present evil, violent youth culture in our communities.

Read the rest here.

Good luck, James.

Kane Watch: Still Waiting

Kane recently wrote in a blog post that he would comment on the Juneteenth Day debacle in his column. I'm still waiting for that to appear.

If the title of his post, "Response to Juneteenth Day violence predictable," is any indication, then I'm sure it will be a wishy-washy column about how the acts themselves were bad, but the media "predictably" hyped it beyond what was necessary. After all, according to Gene, these violent criminals were nothing more than, "knuckleheads," right?

Which leads me to my next point: If anything at all was predictable about Juneteenth Day, it was the violence itself. The media response is just a condition of the first act. And, if anything is more predictable than that, I'm pretty certain that it will be Gene's column.

I guess we'll have to wait and see.